THE OTHER SIDE

Brightly coloured flames danced in her eyes. With each moment intensifying the burning rage she felt, the heat became worse. It no longer felt comforting. It no longer felt warm.

It was excruciating.

Amada clenched her fists. The fire dimmed out, but she could still feel it on her skin, in her veins. It was like her power was teasing her by betraying her; the level of comfort she normally felt never came to her. But Amada knew that it wasn’t her power that was at fault, and that the real problem was something else entirely. Frustrated, she took a step towards the sink, turned on the tap, and splashed the ice cold water on her face, hoping it would extinguish the intense heat. It didn’t. It got worse as she kept thinking about what she’d seen over and over again.

“You’re always pushing me around! I can’t be here for you whenever you want me! I have a life, Tyler!”

“We had a deal,” he growled, pushing her back.

Amada winced at the memory, wishing to God that she could have intervened, that she hadn’t just stood outside that house in west Windsor like a coward. But she knew that even watching the two of them through that boy’s open window was a risk. Even seeking out her daughter was a risk, but after finding out what had gone down with Grayson – after finding out that her daughter was in more danger than she’d previously thought – Amada had to check on Monique. She had to see if she was doing better now; she just hadn’t expected to see her in one of the worst parts of Windsor, with a drug dealer, whimpering at the sight of a mere human. It had hurt too much for Amada to watch, to even think about, but the moment she’d gotten out of that neighborhood, knowing she couldn’t get caught watching Monique, she had to think clearly, to take action. She’d needed to make the situation better before it got worse.

Which was why she had immediately called Hiro. She still wasn’t sure how much good he could do, how much he could protect Monique. Unfortunately, calling Hiro was the most she could do.

Amada was powerless.

Weak.

She’d never felt so defeated.

A sob built up in her throat. She choked it down, not letting the tears in her eyes fall over. She was in the middle of work and couldn’t leave the bathroom looking like a mess.

A light rapping on the door made Amada jump, bringing her out of her thoughts. Quickly looking up at her face in the mirror, she dried the tears out of her green eyes and opened the door to find her receptionist on the other side, a concerned look on her face.

“Dr. Vargaz, your next patient is here for his appointment. And your son is in your office waiting for you,” Elena said.

Amada furrowed her brows, confused just as much as she was grateful to know he’d come to visit her. Was he back to get more money? He’d only left the house with a handful of cash, but he wasn’t the type to just come home when he was running low on money; if he’d really wanted to run away from home, he would have stayed away and gotten a job.

No, he was here for another reason. Something serious. There was no other reason for him to decide to see her again. And if it wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t have interrupted her at work. Something was wrong.

“Dr. Vargaz?”

Amada focused back on Elena. Her chocolate eyes housed so much confusion. Clearing her throat, Amada asked, “Okay, Raj?” Elena nodded. Amada scrambled to remember what issue Raj had before remembering that they were doing a filling today. “Okay, ask Ahmed to wait a little bit before bringing him back. I’m going to have a quick chat with my son.”

“Will do. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She painted a smile on her lips, hoping it looked reassuring enough. But before Elena could even react, the office phone began ringing. Elena headed back to the front desk, leaving Amada to face the incoming nightmare her son was sure to bring with him. She walked down the long hallway to the back of the clinic, noticing that all of the patient rooms were occupied. Seeing the busy clinic, Amada became more restless, wanting the clear the place out and take the rest of the day off. But she was booked solid until 8 PM, and there was no possible way she would be able to cancel on that many people.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to her office. Her son was waiting, rather impatiently it seemed, leaning against the wall beside her bookshelf, fiddling with a model of human teeth that he’d picked up from her desk. When he heard the door open, he stood straight up, a myriad of emotions in his blue eyes.

Amada’s heart was pounding in her chest. She wanted to run up to her son and take him in her arms, but she was sure he wouldn’t want that. Holding back tears, she closed her office door behind her. Her son put down the model teeth, walking around her desk to stand in front of her. Amada had so many questions to ask him, but she was having a hard time opening her mouth to talk. She felt frozen. In shock. In yearning to hug her baby boy.

“Mom,” Riley began slowly. “We need to talk about Monique.”

Chapter 1

SAM 

Her deep brown eyes were pooling with sorrowful tears. She was looking up in shock, horror, disbelief. No anger. Never any anger. Despite how right it was to feel it. How unfair it was of me to do this to. How much I was blindsiding her after years and years of unconditional commitment. I knew she wouldn’t see this coming. Not after how much love I’d showed her every day. How much I took care of her, how much I spoiled her every chance I could. I wanted her to feel angry. At least anger was better to handle than grief. At least the anger would turn to hate. And the hate would let her move on.

“Say something to me,” I pleaded. I needed to know what was going on in her mind, no matter how much it killed me, how much it’d make me regret this. But I had no choice. “Tell me what’s going through your mind.”

“I-I’m just so confused,” she stammered. “Where did this come from?”

“I don’t know, Maya. I’m just as confused as you-”

“You never wanted this,” she whispered. “You told me every single day you didn’t care about this. That you just wanted me to live, to be happy.”

“I know but I’ve changed.” I took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears down. “You’ve been telling me for years to do something with my life. To not let you hold me down, and maybe it’s starting to make sense now. Maybe it’s just me getting older.”

“But why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Because I wanted to be certain. I wanted to make sure that this is what I wanted, before – before I hurt you,” I ended off with a whisper.

Her lip quivered. She noticed me noticing and tucked it in to keep from breaking into sobs. My heart plummeted into my stomach. I couldn’t see her like this “Maya,” I began, my voice cracking. “I’m so sorry-”

“Is there someone else?”

There was a hiccup in her voice as she swallowed a sob, with trembling lips. And as much as I hated even the mere fact that she had that thought, I understood why she’d think that. She had every reason to believe it. After I told her time and time again that I would never leave her, that I would always support her, this seemed impossible to her. I was with her through it all, ever since her family had been murdered. I was always there with her, even when she thought I shouldn’t be. When she thought I deserved more.

I wasn’t even sure if she’d believe me if I told her there was. My love for her was undying. I knew I’d take it with me into the Afterlife. Especially because of our curse…

But maybe she’d hate me if she thought I fell for someone else. Maybe that would help. Maybe that would end this curse and we’d be torn apart, and she could live as long as she wanted. She could live a healthy life. She could be free.

I looked away. “Yes. And I know it seems impossible. But. .  . I have feelings for someone else. And I want to pursue them. You know I’ve only been with you. And I’m only eighteen . . . I want to know what it’s like being with others. And think about it, Maya,” I sighed. “I know you’re going to want the same. I know we’ve been together for a couple of years but I know you’re going to want more. You’re going to want someone with more ambition, more drive. Someone smarter. You were always the brains between the two of us.”

And it was true. I had thought it multiple times. She was too good for me. She was too kind. I was too impulsive for her.

“You can’t put words in my mouth,” she blurted, breaking into full sobs now. But they were cries of frustration. Cries of anger. Not of the sorrow she had earlier. Which was what I wanted. “You have no idea what I want in the future. That’s for me to decide, not you! I might not even have a future. So you can’t end this because of me.”

“It’s not just you-”

“I know!” she cried. She took a deep breath, and speaking more calmly, she continued, “I know. And it’s okay. This is good for you. You needed to move on, and you did. You should save yourself the pain of seeing me go . . .”

She meant it too. I could tell. She always wanted the best for me. She could never hate me. Even if she was frustrated with me, even if she was angry at me, even when I did shit that was impulsive and left us both worse off than we were before, she could never hate me. She didn’t even hate me after she found out I was the reason her family was murdered . . .

“Can I just ask one thing?” I nodded, hoping it was something I could answer. “Is that someone Monique?”

Her question ended off in a whisper, as if she already knew the answer. I didn’t reply. I knew she would take it as a yes, because I would never admit it if it was true, not after years of telling Maya that I hated her, that I would never fall for her, that it would always be Maya. And it was the only thing that made sense. She was the only one with a strong enough hold on me to break the connection Maya and I had.

When I didn’t reply, her expression fell even more, as if it were possible. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears threatening to leave my eyes. I wasn’t sure I could hold them back any longer. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry this happened. I don’t know why-”

“Shh,” she said, taking a step closer to me. Lips still trembling, she whispered, “It’s okay. You deserve this. You deserve more than me. I’ve done you enough damage.”

“No-”

She cut me off with a soft kiss of the lips. Lips I thought I’d be kissing for the rest of my life. Lips that had shown me so much love. So much care. Attention no one else had given me. She treated me so much better than I deserved to be treated. And now she was going to be gone.

My throat tightening with threatening sobs, I refrained from deepening the kiss, knowing it wouldn’t help this. It wouldn’t help our emotions. I couldn’t have her miss me. She needed to move on. She could do better.

I pulled back, breathing hard, and slowly, I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. Before I could break out in sobs, I said, “Good bye, Maya.”

I let go of her hand, breaking the spell that had kept us together all these years, seeing the life drain from her eyes as she watched me walk out the door of the motel, hearing her heart beat increase in what was obviously terror and loneliness, emotions mirrored in my own heartbeat. Mirrored in the stormy weather outside, mirrored in the tears I fought as I drove through the night, the sobs that I finally let escape me, knowing she was back there crying too. Knowing that I’d never see her again. Knowing that I’d destroyed her. And destroyed myself along with her.